Ideas and Content
In both essays, I explained an idea by having quotations from the book, and help me explain the idea more easier and more clear. For example, in the Alchemist essay, I included, "“…try to make your own decisions.” ‘ (Coelho 28)". I chose this passage to explain about Santiago's open- minded nature. Also in the Julius Caesar essay, I quoted, "“It must be by his death; and for my part, I know no personal cause to spurn at him, but for the general” (Brutus, page 62, line 10)". This helped me to explain Brutus showing his patriotism to Rome.
In order to improve on explaining an idea, I will start explaining an idea in more detail, because I usually finish explaining an idea by just stating it.
Organization
My organization for both paragraphs are appropriate. The paragraphs in the essays were ordered correctly, topic sentence, 2 or 3 reasons/ examples and ending with a concluding sentence.
For example:
The patriotism spirit guided Brutus to take actions to save Rome. He only had Rome in his mind, and cared about the people. “It must be by his death; and for my part, I know no personal cause to spurn at him, but for the general” (Brutus, page 62, line 10). In Brutus’s soliloquy, Brutus starts to understand more about Caesar and predicts possibilities of how Caesar may use his power. In his final decision, he knows that the assassination will suit for Rome and Caesar. Caesar being murdered and Brutus held a funeral speech for the conspirators. “Not that I love Caesar less but that I loved Rome more” (Brutus, page 128, line 20). In Brutus’s funeral speech, he talks about reasons of his murder of Caesar. Here, he exclaims that the love of Caesar was less than Rome. Brutus murdered Caesar because countrymen will earn freedom and be happy for the rest of their lives. The actions he took towards Rome were led by his patriotism which makes Rome honor him.
Next time when I write another essay, I would improve on writing a brief sentence before expressing an idea or reason, because in most of the paragraphs of the essay, I have just put a quote suddenly.
Personal Growth
Looking at both essays, I don't see that much improvement. I am feeling that my Alchemist essay was much better than my Julius Caesar, since I had a lot of time to work on them and to revise with classmates. The concepts that both included, was great organization but needed few improvements. I needed improvements on especially with word choice and sentence structure. These were reasons that have been marked low because it was not a good word choice such as, 'good', 'bad' and others too. Also I had short sentences that could have been explained more in detail, also had mistakes on the arrangement of the words. In future essays I don't want to have these simple mistakes, to make an absolutely different essay.
SLR Reflection
Think Creatively
By thinking creatively during the creation of the essay, it allows me to think of creative topic sentences to start a paragraph, and end with an excellent transition. These can help me also in the future to make my writing more easier to write because I don't have to suffer with thinking of a fabulous transition.
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